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PARENTING DECISIONS AND DISCIPLINE -RESEARCHING THE HOW,WHAT,WHY AND WHEN -IN MOTHERHOOD (AND LIFE)

Not Perfect (Obvi), just trying my best as a mom…by researching the heck out of everything and letting my heart feel it out.

@stellaofmine

Nobody prepares you for the responsibility of becoming a parent…and if anyone tried to prepare you and tell you all of the things that will go on before you were a parent…you would be overwhelmed AND cross your legs forever, Or you would not be able to care cuz it’s so far away, or you might feel pissed off that people are making it seem so scary or more complicated than it should be, or perhaps you just would not believe it at all.
flight, fight or denial….my friend a story as old as time— This is just human nature.

If you are a mom, you have been in a similar situation before. Remember all that talk about pregnancy & Delivery?
Even prior of you reaching childbearing age, people (grown ups) always talked about you how “hard ” pregnancy and the delivery would be—and yet….. YOU didn’t see it coming— you technically “knew” it was hard…….. but as your temporary pregnancy nausea and cankles slowly develop, you realize, you didn’t think it would be THIS hard—and Whyyyy didnt anyone tell you how hard it really was?!!!!

The truth is, once you’re pregnant..you’re going to go through it….so it would be awful to be that person to be telling you all the parts of it that make you think you will need therapy after them.
Let’s say, once you’re pregnant,….It’s just not the right time to tell you about aunt Lillibeth’s 28 hours of labor or that 3rd grade laceration or those stitches that came undone, or that massive amount of blood that had been retained after that emergency C-section…. they all happened…in a land far far far away…and we just have to keep on thinking positive because otherwise how does one get through it!?
You gotta have Faith! to make it through the day child!
— and expect the unexpected and do your best at every uncertain turn in a journey that has lots of portions that are somewhat out of our control. Let’s keep it at–We just want healthy babies and healthy mommies.

By the time you hit that first year of your tiny human’s life. We should know already…! I mean— Just as with all the previous stages of motherhood— you learn as you go…and if you haven’t learned it yet—- that will Learn ya! (As uncle Doug says).
SO When I share my way of disciplining my 3 year old…., I say it with no sort of authority. I just share it because …the kid seems happy….and I am at peace with what I have chosen to do with what I have learned so far.

My approach to parenting is the one of Research, and once I feel I have been presented with an assortment of parenting tools and psychology truths….I let this innate love I feel for my baby guide me. Maybe that’s just what we all do.

I consider that researching parenting info is crucial to parenting consciously and not resorting back to the emergency default programmed in us during our own childhood….for better or for worse. I think— I want better for my son… just as my mom wanted better for me and so on every parent is trying the best within their possibilities and think their kid has it so much easier— I honestly think this is part of how we evolve as a species.

Let’s be real its HARD to find the time and the energy to research because….YOU are already Navigating your current stage, so you research and find ways to navigate it…but before you know it…development has run its course and you and your baby are now on to the next stage and you gotta get your research on again. Oh yeah! Let’s be real, your research is all your’e getting on for a little while. Maybe that’s why in her wisdom mother nature prevents you from getting anything but your research on for a few good weeks, if you know what I mean.
If you have support around you, you might be able to research the stage ahead and feel better prepared, or even get the cliff notes from an experienced mom around you…..but between lack of sleep and constant developmental changes… not to mention literal diaper changes…you might find you are always trying to catch up…and just always lagging behind.

I am a registered nurse…so I know about valid research sources…..husband knows his share about Pediatric Medicine and since we are all currently in the middle of the COVID19 PANDEMIC, I take we need as much support as we can get, and we should share as much as we can give.

THIS is why I think, YES, though not THE SCHOLARLY Journal I am sure you wanted to get your hands on right now, I will share my experience, and what I researched, and what I chose to do– because I know you are tired too… and if you like me, are away from all extended family right now— (Any M.D.-in-training spouses out there?) YOU and I should be friends….

I believe, we are only as liable for our actions as our knowledge allows us to be. However, consequences for any actions, are NATURAL consequences. whether or not we meant well. Natural consequences are inescapable, in your life, and that of your children, and everyone in the planet. So if you can place in front of you multiple perspectives and multiple Potential consequences to your actions, you can be better prepared to make the BEST DECISION for Your OWN family.

THERE IS NO ONE ANSWER, NO ONE RIGHT WAY TO PARENT OR TO DO ANYTHING. We are all Unique, and situations are unique so what might work for one person, might not work for the next.

Let’s keep in mind that all families have different dynamics and we can all as a family Process things differently, just as we personally may process differently than our family. What might be a harmless prank in one family might be hurtful to someone else depending on their own family dynamics.

Let’s all Just take all these perspectives and lessons into our minds, and make our OWN heartfelt decisions guided for the benefit of our children, families, and society ❤
Root yourself in LOVE and Kindness, as much and as often as you can, to make decisions… and I think then, this would be a better more joyful and hopeful place to call our temporary home.

Blessings and Love,

Karen Stella

APRENDIENDO A MIRARNOS COMO SEREMOS A LOS 87

QUE DIFICIL A VECES IMAGINARSE, QUE ALGUN DIA EL TIEMPO PASARA LENTO…

LO QUE SENTIMOS HOY TAN ABRUMADOR, SERA SOLO UN RECUERDO….

NUESTRO CUERPO, ENFRIANDOSE POQUITO A POCO…Siempre lentos…yendo a donde no siempre queremos ir….

Que extrano pensar que los que hoy son protagonistas y personajes tan prominentes en nuestra vida, quizas seran entonces tan solo recuerdos….ya lejos… ya distantes….ya no aqui…pero lejos…o cerca porque viven dentro….pues siguen…a traves de nuestras memorias.

Te imaginas? aferrándonos, indefensos a nuestra memoria, a cada detalle que pensamos jamas olvidar….Mirándolos y viendo si nos miran de vuelta, ahi en momentitos tan breves congelados en papel…. pedacitos del tiempo que nos roban suspiros de tanto anhelo.

A veces es solo recordando que nosotros tambien pasaremos por eso… o recordando a adultos mayores que formaron parte de nuestra vida…que encontramos compasión y paciencia para amar a nuestros hermanos y hermanas de la tercera edad.

Que es algo que podriamos hacer hoy mismo, para ser aquella persona que pueda extender y compartir un momento, una sonrisa o gentileza con algun adulto mayor en tu vida?

Te animo con todo mi corazon a hacerlo hoy y de repente cada dia….

Mucho amor a todos ❤

Women and CAREERS. TAKING Turns in marriage for career development.

Dual-career partnerships
I think now more than ever we see these happening. Both partners have great aspirations for their accomplishments when they meet. Marriage comes, and one supports the other and vice-versa over different seasons of life. It can be challenging and sometimes difficult when one of the two spouses steps a little to the side to let the other one shine and accomplish,!if things haven’t clearly and openly been discussed and agreed upon by both partners, as part of a long term strategy.
There is a time especially When children come in the picture that one of the partners spends more time with the baby most times into toddler years while the other pursues a career and provides financial stability. 
It is for all marriages to hope that it will all sort itself out in time and as seasons progress, but it is of utmost importance that both partners are aware of the fact that you are both indeed taking a turn. You must support each other fully and give the other his/her turn in return. It is only in this trust that we can work as a team and foster each other’s growth and satisfaction as individuals each step of the way. We must make choices that support our marriage and MUTUAL happiness OVER specific career positions and growth opportunities. 
With that, choices that are a win-win rather than a win-loose can be properly negotiated over the years. Generosity and a desire for the happiness of the other is at the heart of marriage and love, so these decisions must also reflect that ✨I wanna hear from you! 🤔how do you do it?


#dualcareermarriages #spousalhappiness #stayathomeparent #breadwinner #careerdevelopment #takingturnsinmarriage #takingturns #takingturnsasadults #marriageandcareer #careerandmarriage #happymarriages

#milleniallife #lifeafterkids #marriedwithchildren #marriageandcompromise #compromising #winwin #winlose #seasonsinlife #sahm #sahmlife #careersinmedicine #longcareers #careersandwomen #loveispatient #loveiskind #stellalandeo #perumates #wisdom

#womenandcareer

Holy Moly Moving is Purgatory on Earth!

HAHAHA! I know ridiculous and dramatic of me to say right?!

NO WAY JOSE!!!! ITS IS FREACKING SUPER TRUE GUYS! or at least a very realistic simulation.

After packing and loading a truck with your partner for almost 2 days in a row! with practically no sleep… all while taking care of a two year old…you would agree with me!

Geeez Louise! talk about breaking a sweat! I was in hell! #OhFork #thisisnotthegoodplace #Thebadplace

…it was eye opening…with all-over-bodily pain— and no end in sight… I noticed…that truly– what you are keeping in your storage…is killing you!…the extra chairs and furniture that you are holding on to just in case is stealing your peace!!!!

we don’t, or at least I didn’t! ever realize that whatever we bring to our space is stealing your time! you better love it if you’re going to let it! HEY! stay with me here!!!!!!

YOUR UNUSED STUFF IS SABOTAGING YOU!

you know why??! cuz whether you love it or not…it is taking up your space…you gotta clean it and move it..your brain knows its there– and it is causing it anxiety!

even at a subconscious level, your brain 🧠 KNOWS -that stack of magazines you haven’t decided if you should throw out, AND all that mail piled in that cabinet or STUFFED in your kitchen drawer IS THERE, and it represents many postponed decisions. Even if you pretend you don’t see it— your body feels the anxiety. The uneasiness creates a background but constant anxiety you live in day in and day out.

I urge you my friend–rise above the clutter. Lets do this together…my gut tells me …attachment to possessions ain’t a joke.

In fact! this very Sunday August 4Th the readings captivated me and convinced me that God is speaking to me….and I better listen—Stay away from me cute baby toys and clothes! stay away from me gorgeous threshold Target home decor items! I will become stronger! I will resist you! little by little , I will learn to say no to most and say yes to the things I will truly love and truly belong in my life.

About those baby blues

Hoy comparti en mis historias…que estoy decidida a buscar un poco de ayuda con terapia.

Si, soy fuerte and I am fierce! BUT the situations I go through are quite particular, and without family around for support…can sometimes become more overwhelming…

Since I know…I am in control, and some things are in my power, I am going to seek a way to fine tune my perspective in the world and my life. I need practical advice and I need to regain the confidence that will help me and by default, my whole family, thrive.

It is late when I get to write this, but I just want to say…God has one thing for you to be doing right now…pray and be honest with yourself…if you need some help…seek it…keep praying…keep seeking…keep trying something…so that you can actually do what you are meant to be doing ❤

I will share my journey with you as I go through it. I hope it encourages those who need it most.

God bless you ! ❤

Mucho Love,

Stella